Nothing could have been worse for me than being a teenager in high school — until I became a teenager in high school with depression.
I was constantly bullied, my heart was in the midst of being broken, and my grades were dropping fiercely. The pain I suffered day after day, night after night was unbearable. I felt as if I was drowning in a pool of self-hatred and self-harm. My psychiatrists diagnosed depression at the end of my junior year in high school. The night I was admitted into the hospital still replays in the back of my mind. I needed help.
I thought my feelings would disappear as soon as I entered college, considering I moved ten hours south of where my problems originated. I made new friends, fell in love again, and my grades were perfect. But of course, the dark shadow of depression followed me. The negative feelings all came pouring back into my body. I needed help…again.
That’s when my two best friends saved my life. They helped me realize that life is worth living and that taking my life would have been selfish. I would have hurt my mother, my father, my brother, my sister, and my friends. So I began to think, “What if?” What if I had taken my life? That’s the moment I found my cure.
My Personal Cure
There is no one cure for depression. But there is a cure for depression inside each and every one of us. The only problem is that you have to find it within yourself. Mine happened to be my unconditional love for others.
And for the past year, I’ve been taking Prozac. I was afraid to take medication at first, but it stabilizes me. I have no more negative thoughts, and there are no more monsters in my head at night. I can feel the physical difference, and others can see the difference in me, too. I feel safe and happy now.
Goal: Help Others
After finding my personal cure, I decided to write a novel. “The Cure” is a fictional story about a teenage girl battling depression. She comes to find that her cure does not lie within a boy or in striving for perfection. It lies within the happiness she created for others, which creates happiness for her as well.
My goal is to help save as many lives as possible. I want my readers to realize exactly what I have realized: We are given these struggles to defeat them so we can help others. If I had ended my life, I never would have gotten the chance to share my story.
Each and every one of us has our own personal cure for depression. The only way you will find yours is if you get out of bed and get out into the world. You may discover a new life, a new love, a new happiness. Giving up cannot be an option. Be grateful. Be happy.
Find The Cure, by Alexandra Lewicke online.