It seems like I'm always making mistakes and my panic disorder is rushing me into them. I truly trust my bf, but we don't live together and he does have friends, as do I. He has done everything he possibly could to make me feel secure yet I just can't. So last night I asked if he and this girl were just friends (why can't I just shut up) and of course it didnt go over very well. We have been seeing each other for 8 mos but used to date 8 yrs ago. I just felt that this was bothering me and if i could just ask him then it would go away b/c I DO trust him if I hear it from his mouth.
He is the best thing I have in my life right now. I battle constant panic attacks and depression. He did tell me it was bad timing and talked to me a bit later. I don't want my panic over stupidity to drive us apart. He already has alot on his plate, something tells me he's not going to tolerate a freaking out girlfriend for very long.
The worst part is, I don't know the difference between "normal" reactions and "panicked" reactions which just make me panic further. I have tried meds and therapy each will help for a short time. Then my anxiety turns to anger and isolation.
Please I don't want to lose him is there a way to smooth this over. He's such a good guy, more than I could have hoped for. I didnt believe it but had to hear it from him instead of being angry about it all the time.
Is this something that may happen in a "normal" relationship or have i truly gone off the deep end