I am 20 years old and I've had anxiety ad panic problems my whole life but they never really peaked until these past couple weeks. To understand why, i have to tell you what's been going on with me.

I've been with my husband for a year. We were pregnant with our son and a UTI threw me into labor and I had my son at 27 weeks. He was so beautiful, but his lungs weren't developed & he only lived for 65 minutes. That was so tough and I thought I'd never get through it. Well, exactly 1 month later I ended up in the ER because my heart was beating 144 beats per minute and I couldn't calm down. I figured they tell me it was anxiety and panic attacks. Nope! I ended up in an ICU on beta blockers. I have a bad circuit in my heart that keeps going off and I'm probably going to have to get it burned. I'm home now on lopressor for this problem. Awesome right? I've developed panic attacks horribly due to all this. Panic attacks on top of a heart that does nothing but run away with itself anyway! Then at my 6 week post partum check up, they tell me that they want to make sure I don't have a blood disease that causes blood clots. This means I can't take birth control or anything for my anxiety until they know the results which will take a while.

I am in constant misery. I panic about my health horribly and can't sleep for my mind going so crazy 24/7! Everyday it's like my mind finds something knew to worry about and I try so hard to control it but I simply don't think that's possible. I have fear of going crazy, loosing it, going back to the ER, dying & being alone. I wish I could find someone to relate to all this. I might would feel a little better. Plus, I think my family thinks I'm annoying. They just don't I understand. I want to get back to my happy, perky, worry free self!