Is This A Panic Attack?
I'll try to make a long story short.
My wife tells me I am wound up tight. I didn't realize so much until I started having these "spells" the past several weeks.
I basically am "on" almost 24/7. I tend to put all of my tasks, things left undone, things to come, etc in my mind and I jumble them all up. I also feel every task is a mountain and I praise just a little effort, even if it leaves the taks undone. I also have moments where I fear things that will never really happen, like something happening to my precious little daughter. When I get called into my bosses office, I immediately fear the worst even though it isn't bad and I got a glowing review and atta boys often. I don't know how to relax. I am also VERY plugged in with technology. I have two PC's, a smartphone, tablet, tons of music and playlists I manipulate, keeping up with Facebook, E-Mail. I tend to have my tablet / phone with me at all times and always want to glance at it. I also am needing to learn programming languages (I am the only IT guy at my work) that I am basically way behind on. I also have a Daddy's girl who needs me at every turn. While I do teach her that she can often play alone, I try to be there for her within reason.
I've not slept well for years, and I've been off and on Ambien for a few years.
I am also co-founder of an all-volunteer theatre and I often direct / act in the shows. 2012 started with me directing and acting in two major shows. While they were huge successes, I felt spent afterwards. I also look Ambien for nearly nightly during the last production.
About the spells. They started around the time the second production was nearing an end and I was trying to cut back on Ambien. They basically seem like I am having a DejaVu like thought or like a thought / dream that I sort of recall as it happens but can't describe it after the "spell." It is almost like a pre-dream I have before sleeping. I often get sick to my stomach and often feel like I want to puke. When the spell is over, I often feel tired. I also get chills and my heart races. These normally happened when I was in the shower, while I am thinking about the day ahead. Early on, they would happen at work during a random event. When I went on vacation last wek, I had ZERO spells, though they felt close to happening. The very day I got home, within a few hours, I got a spell and now I have 2-3 a day. Often when my mind is jumbled with thought. Sometimes I can feel a wave of of it coming without it actually happening. It has been WORSE since returning from vacation.
So, I am going to the doctor today to discuss this and perhaps seeing about getting off Ambien and getting to the root while I don't sleep and turn off my mind. I am also seeing a MD Counselor on June 27th as well.
So, about the Spell...is this classic panic attack? Or perhaps something like Narcolepsy?
Thanks for reading!