Feeling like I just don't know what to do? I can't think straight or focus. I feel like I can't trust anyone, I have no desire to do anything. No motivation. I'm sad and so down. Like my life is a roller coster. I have a moment of happiness then sadness. I don't like myself or feel good enough. I'm married and blame my husband for everything. I feel he is always doing bad things behind my back. I have a major wall up with him like I'm waiting to go to war with him. I have so much anger toward my X boyfriend for doing bad things behind my back. I feel like I always do good for other people and everyone lets me down. Like why do I even bother! I just have lost the shinning light within me. How could people that say they love you so much behind your back do wrong by you. My husband thinks I'm crazy, but I feel he makes me crazy! I feel like people are not sincere. I've had three men in my life and they all let me down when all I ever did was love them and give. It is the worst feeling in the world to live every day in fear of what the person your with is going to do to make you unhappy. I just want peace in my life. To find that person that loves me and only me. that does not wish for other people or things. Am I reading things wrong? I'm I crazy? I really don't know anymore? I feel like I'm freaking out? Now I feel like I'm rambling and now people are going to feel sorry for me and think I'm a weirdo and judge me. Like maybe I should just keep this all in and let everyone think I'm perfect because the person everyone see's has it together! Little does everyone know I'm a mess inside. I'm just acting to make everyone else feel good about themselves because I would never want someone to feel bad about themselves like I do.