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16 Year old son - Panic disorder & Agoraphobia
Fri, 2011-10-28 22:51 | by ZenDD
I am lost. I am not sure where to turn anymore.
My son is 16 years old. He began having anxiety attacks when he was approximately 12. He went through therapy which seemed to help him a great deal and appeared to be problem free up until 2 years ago.
He began getting fearful of choking, dying and although is asthma is well controlled, he was convinced he would have a life ending asthma attack. He started isolating himself became very withdrawn. He's already very thin and had lost more than 10% of his body weight. We took him to his pediatrician who referred us to a pediatric behavioral specialist who prescribed Zoloft. He improved slightly, gained some weight. He began taking his meds very sporadic. It became a constant battle just to get him to take a pill. So, we put him back in therapy. It was there, recently, that he was diagnosed with panic disorder and agoraphobia.
The issue that I am having is two-fold. One, he is not doing the recommended journaling, tracking, exercises, etc for therapy. When we go to the session each week, I tell the therapist and my son just seems to talk his way around it.
The other issue is that he wants to go back on meds. I am going to contact a new dr. on monday to see about getting him on something. What do you do when your child says they want help, you are providing everything you can for him, but he is basically throwing it away?
I am so worried for him that I am becoming a nervous wreck. I am sleeping very little. I feel like I am always caught in the middle of things, with his father, his teachers etc.
I really need someone to talk to who has or is experiencing this with their child.
14 year old
I definitley know how you are feeling and wish I had answers myself. My daughter is 14 and as of about 6 months ago her anxiety has worsened to thepoint that she will not go anywhere or stay home with anyone but her father and I. She is homeschooled so she has totally isolated herself from her friends out of embarrassment and the fact that she doesn't do anything without us. Like you I am becoming a nervous wreck. She also suffer depression due to her anxiety, and I just dont know what to do to help her. SHe is in counseling and is also on Zoloft and Wellbutrin but nothing seems to help. I dont feel as though family and friends understand but I can see the fear and pain in her eyes and it kills me that I dont know what to do to help her.
14 year old
I definitley know how you are feeling and wish I had answers myself. My daughter is 14 and as of about 6 months ago her anxiety has worsened to thepoint that she will not go anywhere or stay home with anyone but her father and I. She is homeschooled so she has totally isolated herself from her friends out of embarrassment and the fact that she doesn't do anything without us. Like you I am becoming a nervous wreck. She also suffer depression due to her anxiety, and I just dont know what to do to help her. SHe is in counseling and is also on Zoloft and Wellbutrin but nothing seems to help. I dont feel as though family and friends understand but I can see the fear and pain in her eyes and it kills me that I dont know what to do to help her.
agoraphobia & panic attacks
I understand completely how you feel. My daughter is 12 and has suffered from anxiety & agoraphobia since she was a toddler. She rocked herself in her crib before a year old. She never wanted to go anywhere as young as 2, even places that most children love! Ice cream stores, zoo, beach, friends houses, painting class - not her! She would stay home every single day if she could.
It has gotten much worse lately. She gets stomach aches, headaches, all kinds of ailments. She has been to every kind of doctor, had blood tests, etc. and thankfully they find nothing physically wrong with her. She refuses to eat breakfast and will not eat at school at all. We have finally gotten her to drink water at least. She says that her stomach bothers her and if she eats at school it will cause her to have a stomach ache.
We have tried lexapro 5 years ago, which did not work. She stayed on it for a year. Then we started cognitive behavioral therapy which she is still going once a week. Since her anxiety has gotten worse this past year, we decided to try medication (zoloft) again along with the therapy. It has improved her anxieties quite well, but I feel like it is one step forward two steps back. It is very hard on our family - my husband, her 10 year old brother and myself. We all suffer from this. It is also a great financial burden. Sometimes I feel like no one understands, even friends and family, what we are going through. I am so tired of explaining to teachers. They just don't understand. They say "well do you pack something she likes to eat for lunch, etc.". I mean really? I know they are just trying to help, but I feel so alone. We are a happy loving family and this has been the one thing that really causes pain in our home. I know it must be much worse for her and she tells us she feels so helpless and that no one understands. We support, listen and love her, but it is so sad that she has to suffer this way.
Yesterday she went to school great, today, she did not feel well and I had to drop her off crying. It is so hard.
Advice that I have gotten from her therapists has been to practice breathing, yoga, also having her face her fears and do what she has to do. If we keep letting her stay home, it is not going to help her. I feel like we have been doing that most of her life. I know it is easier to do that than go through a panic attack, but it will not help her in the long run. We have had to literally carry her out the door kicking and screaming and put her in the car only to have her open the car door and run out. But once she gets where she has to go she is fine. Also our son has had to suffer for her not wanting to go anywhere. We talk to him, also make sure to listen to his feelings and have special time doing what he wants to do.
Sorry for this long post, but I am new here and wanted to share my experience and let others know they are not alone.
I can completely relate to
I can completely relate to your worrying about your son. I'm right there with ya!
Maybe you could ask the therapist to address with him the importance of the journaling, etc?
I hope that you and your husband can find a way to form a united front. I know that is really hard; it's something that my husband and I work on constantly. He doesn't like conflict, so when my son's treatment requires something that he doesn't like (going to see a therapist for example), my husband doesn't like to force the issue. It's very frustrating.
Hang in there. I know we all wish there could be an easy fix. But, the only thing to do is what you're doing: looking for all of the best alternatives and trying to be supportive.
It also could be the fear of
It also could be the fear of getting better, change. He feels safe (I know it sounds strange) and doing something about it may be scary for him. My daughter is supposed to journal and also practice her breathing and she gives me such a hard time. She says the breathing doesn't help, but it is because she has to practice! It is almost like she sometimes does not want help because this is all she knows to feel like. But I do know she really wants to get better.