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Just sick of it
Wed, 2011-07-20 11:45 | by Solidus
I'm new to this site. I really never thought about looking into this before. i've had panic attacks off and on for the past 12 years! I went to a therapist and was on welbutrin for awhile and it helped until about 2008. They took a turn for the worse when i started having them while driving at night. Its so freaking bad now i cannot go far without my wife. No matter if its day or night. The worst part is when people make you feel like a freak for it.there is only 1 person who doesnt treat me like an invalid or psychopath. It starts to make you think you are nuts. I dont have any other symptoms than i have panic attacks. So it hurts and makes things worse. My wife is very supportive. But she doesnt know what to do. I can't expect her to understand this. nobody knows how crippling this is and how it makes you feel. I really dont want to live with this anymore. I wish there was a pill to just make it go away. I hate these stupid attacks more than anything. Im so angry and frusterated all the time. i feel like Im ready to blow. I have a appointment with my GP on monday, but I just feel like whats the point. I feel like there is no hope. Im a 30 year old man who needs his mommy to drive him to work cause i cant even drive across the streeet to the damn store!!!! Im sorry if this is a rant or whatever. I just need to get it off my chest. And hopefully theres some 1 out there with some advice or has gone through something similar. Any help or advice is appreciated. Thank you in advance.
I am 19 and a college student
I am 19 and a college student who still lives with her parents and has to be driven around because my panic attacks will not allow me too. I had to choose a school that was convenient to everyone but myself. My mom and boyfriend drive me everywhere and I hate it. You feel trapped and there is just now where to go. I know how it feels. I cannot drive at night at all and usually struggle a lot during the day and I lie to people and tell them I am fine to avoid the judgments. I have had attacks for about 10 years and most likely the rest of my life. Just remember there are others out there going through the same thing and people will always judge you, but none will ever understand. This may be a battle, but at least you have a loving wife and you are not trying to get through it completely alone. I tried to not tell anyone and it just eats away at you until you have nothing left. You are not alone, always remember that.
I am a 30 year old mother of
I am a 30 year old mother of 5 and have had these panic attacks for 10 years as well!! They are very scary and it does feel like noone can understand you. I am agoraphobic really bad I can't remember the last time I have left my house besides yesterday morning to go to the ER because my head was feeling weird. Just know you are not alone and we understand what your going through!! Big Hugs to you guys!!
Understand your pain
I am a 40 year old married women with a son in college. I have suffered from anxitey and despression my whole life. At the age of 12 I attempted suicide and during my 20's I had two serious episodes of major depression (in hindsight I should have been hospitalized both times). About 7 years ago I started having panic attacks though I didn't know what they were at the time. I thought it was a heart condition. My anxiety and panic got so bad last year that I decided to quit my executive level job and take a lower paying part time job. I had reached the end of my rope. Ironically, it wasn't the stress of my job that was making me anxiious or have panic attacks, it was the way I was dealing with them. To the last few people who have posted how terrible this is, I understand your pain. These thoughts and feelings make no sense, especially to other people. My husband is very supportive but even he at times will say, "just deal with it". I didnt tell him I was having debilitating panic attacks until last year. There have been times that this has been so painful I honestly wanted to die rather than live like this. Thankfully, things are starting to improve for me. There are days that are really bad but on the whole I think I can find a way to live with this and hopefully reduce the severity. I wouldn't wish this on anyone and I wanted to share a few things that I have found helpful:
Get some rest, if I don't sleep, the next day tends to be pretty bad. I take half a benadryl at night as insurance to sleep.
I cut my drinking way back. I would drink at night because I felt so bad after a day at work where I white-knuckled a panic filled day. For me, cutting back or not drinking at all has helped. I live for great red wine so this has been a challenge at times but worth it.
I went through weekly intensive CBT at a local university. It was affordable and I LOVED my therapist. It helps to connect with the person and to do your assignments. This was a huge help and gave me some great tools to use when I do have anxiety and panic. I went for 12 weeks. It cost 25 a session. You might be able to find a program near you at a local university.
I started back on meds even though I really, really didn't want to take anything. The fact is for me, I need them. They help. I started lexapro recently and (fingers crossed) I hope it gives my embattled brain the serotonin boost it needs. This time of year tends to be very hard for me so the timing seemed right. My doctor also thought it would be a good idea.
I use xanax very, very lightly and only infrequently. Just having it helps. It calms me to know that if I can't handle the situation I can take a half or quarter of pill. The dose I take is so low it is most likely a placebo effect but I don't care.
I try to get some exercise. This is a tricky one because if I don't exercise I tend to be very hard on myself so I try to be kind to myself and encourage myself to do what I can.
I found the CD by Roberta Shaprio "Goodbye Worries" surprinsly helpful. I downloaded it from amazon.
One day I had horrible panic. I had to drive 4 hours to pick my son up from college. Thankfully he drove home and on the ride back I was much calmer. In my calm state after experiencing hours of high anxiety and panic, I wrote a letter to my anxious self. It basically said that the thoughts will pass, try and relax, take deep breaths, tell yourself a joke, etc...I keep this letter and read it everytime I start to go down the rabbit hole of anxiety/panic, Find your own words to kindly tell yourself how to calm youself and your thoughts.
Deep breathing exercises. This one I learned at CBT. I had a habit of holding my breath when I started to feel anxious. Who knew that was causing the physical sensations. The deep belly breahing focuses my attention elsewhere and gets the oxygen levels to a more normal level.
I keep a sporadic journal. In my little pocket notebook where I wrote my letter to anxious self. When I think of something that might help me when I am feeling anxious/panic, I jot it down.
This condition is truly terrible. People don't understand If they haven't experienced it. Help is available and my suggestion is to try a few things out to see what works for you. Don't give up.
Understand your pain
I am a 40 year old married women with a son in college. I have suffered from anxitey and despression my whole life. At the age of 12 I attempted suicide and during my 20's I had two serious episodes of major depression (in hindsight I should have been hospitalized both times). About 7 years ago I started having panic attacks though I didn't know what they were at the time. I thought it was a heart condition. My anxiety and panic got so bad last year that I decided to quit my executive level job and take a lower paying part time job. I had reached the end of my rope. Ironically, it wasn't the stress of my job that was making me anxiious or have panic attacks, it was the way I was dealing with them. To the last few people who have posted how terrible this is, I understand your pain. These thoughts and feelings make no sense, especially to other people. My husband is very supportive but even he at times will say, "just deal with it". I didnt tell him I was having debilitating panic attacks until last year. There have been times that this has been so painful I honestly wanted to die rather than live like this. Thankfully, things are starting to improve for me. There are days that are really bad but on the whole I think I can find a way to live with this and hopefully reduce the severity. I wouldn't wish this on anyone and I wanted to share a few things that I have found helpful:
Get some rest, if I don't sleep, the next day tends to be pretty bad. I take half a benadryl at night as insurance to sleep.
I cut my drinking way back. I would drink at night because I felt so bad after a day at work where I white-knuckled a panic filled day. For me, cutting back or not drinking at all has helped. I live for great red wine so this has been a challenge at times but worth it.
I went through weekly intensive CBT at a local university. It was affordable and I LOVED my therapist. It helps to connect with the person and to do your assignments. This was a huge help and gave me some great tools to use when I do have anxiety and panic. I went for 12 weeks. It cost 25 a session. You might be able to find a program near you at a local university.
I started back on meds even though I really, really didn't want to take anything. The fact is for me, I need them. They help. I started lexapro recently and (fingers crossed) I hope it gives my embattled brain the serotonin boost it needs. This time of year tends to be very hard for me so the timing seemed right. My doctor also thought it would be a good idea.
I use xanax very, very lightly and only infrequently. Just having it helps. It calms me to know that if I can't handle the situation I can take a half or quarter of pill. The dose I take is so low it is most likely a placebo effect but I don't care.
I try to get some exercise. This is a tricky one because if I don't exercise I tend to be very hard on myself so I try to be kind to myself and encourage myself to do what I can.
I found the CD by Roberta Shaprio "Goodbye Worries" surprinsly helpful. I downloaded it from amazon.
One day I had horrible panic. I had to drive 4 hours to pick my son up from college. Thankfully he drove home and on the ride back I was much calmer. In my calm state after experiencing hours of high anxiety and panic, I wrote a letter to my anxious self. It basically said that the thoughts will pass, try and relax, take deep breaths, tell yourself a joke, etc...I keep this letter and read it everytime I start to go down the rabbit hole of anxiety/panic, Find your own words to kindly tell yourself how to calm youself and your thoughts.
Deep breathing exercises. This one I learned at CBT. I had a habit of holding my breath when I started to feel anxious. Who knew that was causing the physical sensations. The deep belly breahing focuses my attention elsewhere and gets the oxygen levels to a more normal level.
I keep a sporadic journal. In my little pocket notebook where I wrote my letter to anxious self. When I think of something that might help me when I am feeling anxious/panic, I jot it down.
This condition is truly terrible. People don't understand If they haven't experienced it. Help is available and my suggestion is to try a few things out to see what works for you. Don't give up.
I dont know how much longer I can cope...
I am a 43 year old mother of 3 daughters. One is in college, one is in high school and the other is in kindergarten. I have suffered from depression and anxiety for about 20 years but over the past 2 years it has taken over my life. The panic attacks are coming more and more frequently. I hardly ever leave my house anymore. Nothing makes me smile. Everything feels like a chore. All I want to do is lay in bed all day although I cannot sleep. At most I get 2 hours a night. I have no appetite. I have lost 65 pounds in the past year. I dread each and every day. I have gone to the ER three times in the past year thinking I was having a heart attack and all three times I was told it was a panic attack. I feel so foolish I doubt I would go to ER again even though I am never sure if it is "just panic" or if I am dying. I have been prescribed different medications but after I read the possible side effects I become SO ANXIOUS that I throw the medication out without ever trying it. It is a vicious cycle and I am exhausted, mentally and physically, and I dont know how much longer I can cope, I pray and pray and pray that God will take this burden from my shoulders. I feel like I am being punished but I am not sure why I should be punished. I have never been so unhappy.
I dont know how much longer I can cope...
I am a 43 year old mother of 3 daughters. One is in college, one is in high school and the other is in kindergarten. I have suffered from depression and anxiety for about 20 years but over the past 2 years it has taken over my life. The panic attacks are coming more and more frequently. I hardly ever leave my house anymore. Nothing makes me smile. Everything feels like a chore. All I want to do is lay in bed all day although I cannot sleep. At most I get 2 hours a night. I have no appetite. I have lost 65 pounds in the past year. I dread each and every day. I have gone to the ER three times in the past year thinking I was having a heart attack and all three times I was told it was a panic attack. I feel so foolish I doubt I would go to ER again even though I am never sure if it is "just panic" or if I am dying. I have been prescribed different medications but after I read the possible side effects I become SO ANXIOUS that I throw the medication out without ever trying it. It is a vicious cycle and I am exhausted, mentally and physically, and I dont know how much longer I can cope, I pray and pray and pray that God will take this burden from my shoulders. I feel like I am being punished but I am not sure why I should be punished. I have never been so unhappy.
Hi there
I just found this forum, and read your post. I wanted to just say that I was the same way with my medication for years, I never took the anxiety medicine..because I was too ANXIOUS to take it. And I can tell you that one day, I made myself do it, and wow has my life changed. So I urge you to build yourself up once to try it. I hope it helps you as much as it has helped me. You aren't alone. ((hug))